How
can I get more
out of my scripture
study? Does that make sense? We should set a certain amount of time aside each day for scripture study. How much time? President Hunter further counseled: It would be ideal if an hour could be spent each day; but if that much cannot be had, a half hour on a regular basis would result in substantial accomplishment. A quarter of an hour is little time, but it is surprising how much enlightenment and knowledge can be acquired…” (ibid). Having a set amount of time to read the scriptures each day is a key to effective scripture study. How can you know how much time you study each day? One way is to carefully think about how much time you should spend in daily scripture study and then pray and ask Heavenly Father to confirm if the amount you have chosen is in line with what He would have you do. Write down what you feel, and then do it. One other tip for getting more out of your scripture study is to go “PRO.” The P stands for Pray. Pray before you start reading so that you will be able to be in tune and learn what the Lord would have you learn. Pray after you read to thank the Lord for the scriptures and to ask for help in remembering what you have studied. The P could also stand for ponder—it's important as we study to really think about what we are learning. The R is for “Record.” Writing down what we learn is absolutely vital. The Lord said, “I command all men…[to] write the words which I speak unto them” (2 Nephi 29:11). The scriptures are the words of Christ—we should write down what we learn as we study them. O stands for “Obey.” As we discover truths from the scriptures we should apply them by finding ways to obey what we have learned. Back
to Top It is difficult to draw an exact line between sins that require confession and sins that do not. One guideline is that you should confess sins that would keep you from getting a temple recommend. For example, criminal offenses, any violation of the Word of Wisdom (drinking alcohol, smoking, drugs, etc.) or the law of chastity (immorality or involvement with pornography) should be discussed immediately with the Bishop. Another principle you could follow is to talk to the Bishop about any sin you continue to feel guilty about, even after you have tried to repent. If I did something wrong, repented and still feel bad, was I fully forgiven? Even after fully repenting you might continue to feel bad about your sin. One reason for this could be to remind you that repentance is painful and to not sin again. However, it is important to be able to recognize the difference between feeling bad about your sin and feeling guilty about it. After repenting, there are two main reasons you could continue to feel guilt for your sin. The first reason is you have not fully repented. In a situation when serious sin was involved, perhaps your guilt stems from the fact you didn't confess to the Bishop, or did not disclose all of the important facts about what happened. Another possibility is that even though you repented, Satan is trying to discourage you by telling you that you're still unclean before God. If this is the case you shouldn't let the guilt fester. Elder Richard G. Scott said, Lucifer will encourage you to continue to relive the details of past mistakes, knowing that such thoughts can hamper your progress. Thus he attempts to tie strings to the mind and body so that he can manipulate you like a puppet to discourage personal achievement” ( Ensign , Nov. 2000, 26). If you have counseled with your Bishop and done everything possible to repent, you can follow this advice from Elder Scott: “When memory of past mistakes encroaches upon your mind, turn your thoughts to the Redeemer and to the miracle of forgiveness with the renewal that comes through Him. Your depression and suffering will be replaced by peace, joy, and gratitude” (26). I am discouraged because one of my parents is not active in the church. How can my family be together forever? You are not alone in feeling discouraged. It can be very difficult to hope for an eternal family when some members of the family are not active or not part of the church. Here are three principles that may help you. First, focus on the things that are under your control. You cannot make other family members active in the church—but you can make sure that you are active. Strive for a temple marriage—then you will be sealed to the one you will love the most for eternity. Second, know that God loves you. He is aware of how painful your situation may be. Turn to Him. Understand that if you do what is right you will be blessed. We read of those that return to live with God, “God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Third, do not give up hope. Elder Richard G. Scott, one of the Twelve Apostles, grew up in a home in which his father was not LDS. He, his mother and his five brothers prayed for years that his father would be baptized. It took years, but it happened. Later, he wrote, “ Never give up on a loved one, never! ” We never know when somebody will accept the gospel. Don't lose hope! I'm really scared for the Second Coming. What should I do? The best way to prepare for the Second Coming is through righteous living. Personal righteousness will ease your fears in two ways: First: If you are righteous you will not be burdened with worries that the Second Coming will occur before you've repented. If something tragic happens and you die, you will know you are going to a better place. Second: If you are righteous, you have a guarantee that the Lord will protect you in the last days. Nephi said, “Wherefore [the Lord] will preserve the righteous by his power…wherefore, the righteous need not fear ; for thus saith the prophet, they shall be saved, even if it so be as by fire” (1 Nephi 22:17, emphasis added). What does the Atonement really mean and how can I apply the Atonement in my life? The Atonement is what Christ has done for us. It is the most important doctrine that exists. The Atonement puts us “at one”—from the word “atone”--with God by providing a bridge for us so that we can return to live with Him. There are two obstacles that separate us from God: First, because of the fall of Adam, our bodies are mortal. God is a perfect, immortal being. In order to live with Him we need to have bodies like His. The Atonement frees all people from this first obstacle. Because of Christ's resurrection (which is part of the Atonement) all people will be resurrected. This good news is in Alma 11:42. The resurrection is a free gift to everyone because of the Atonement of Christ. The second obstacle that keeps us from returning to live with God is sin. Our sins make us unclean spiritually, and no unclean thing can dwell with God. The Atonement also overcomes this obstacle. Christ suffered for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. So intense was his suffering that he bled “at every pore” He tells us himself in Doctrine & Covenants 19:16-19 (SM). Whether we are forgiven through Christ's suffering is conditional upon us. In order to be forgiven of our sins, we must have faith in Christ, repent, and keep His commandments. Christ's Atonement goes even beyond His suffering for our sins and the resurrection. Alma taught, that Christ would “go forth suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people” (Alma 7:11). in other words, Christ has felt your every pain. When you feel like nobody can understand your situation, you are wrong. Christ does. For every trial you've had, He has felt the pain that accompanies it. Because He has felt your pain, He understands you better than anyone else can. You can apply Christ's Atonement in your life today by focusing on your relationship with Him. When you take the sacrament, you can ponder on what He did for you. When you read about His sufferings you can take time to ponder what that means for you today. Pray and thank Heavenly Father for the gift of His son. Ponder how your life is different because of Christ. You should love Him for what He did for us. He taught, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). As you do these things you will be applying the Atonement of Christ in your life. Remember these words from Elder Packer: For some reason, we think the Atonement of Christ applies only at the end of mortal life…It is much more than that. It is an ever-present power to call upon in everyday life. When we are…burdened with grief, He can heal us...The Atonement has practical, personal everyday value; apply it in your life. It can be activated with so simple a beginning as prayer ( Ensign , May 2001, 23-24). As I have come to know Christ and apply His Atonement in my life, it has brought me great joy. I know that he cares about me. And I know He cares about you. He is “knocking on your door” right now, hoping that you will more fully let Him into your life (see Revelation 3:20). As you ponder and apply Christ's Atonement, you will be richly blessed. A great talk that has helped me understand more applying the Atonement is titled, “In the Strength of the Lord,” by Elder David A. Bednar. You can read or download it at http://speeches.byu.edu Why it so important to live the law of chastity? Elder Jeffery R. Holland answered these very questions in General Conference. He explained precisely why it is absolutely vital we remain morally clean. We declare that one who uses the God-given body of another without divine sanction abuses the very soul of that individual. . . . In exploiting the body of another — which means exploiting his or her soul — one desecrates the Atonement of Christ, which saved that soul and which makes possible the gift of eternal life. And when one mocks the Son of Righteousness, one steps into a realm of heat hotter and holier than the noonday sun. You cannot do so and not be burned. In case that isn't convincing enough, read on: Please, never say: “Who does it hurt? Why not a little freedom? I can transgress now and repent later.” Please don't be so foolish and so cruel. You cannot with impunity “crucify Christ afresh.” “Flee fornication,” Paul cries, and flee “anything like unto it,” the Doctrine and Covenants adds. Why? Well, for one reason because of the incalculable suffering in both body and spirit endured by the Savior of the world so that we could flee. We owe Him something for that. Indeed, we owe Him everything for that. “Ye are not your own,” Paul says. “Ye [have been] bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.” In sexual transgression the soul is at stake—the body and the spirit ( Ensign , Nov. 1998, 76). According to Elder Holland, our bodies are gifts that should not be tarnished by immoral activities. The Savior purchased them with his blood in the Garden of Gethsemane ; we owe it to Him to keep them clean. And, as Elder Holland pointed out, immorality damages the soul—both our bodies and our spirits. Another reason why you should live the law of chastity is that it will prepare you to have a stronger, happier marriage in the future. Think of the mistrust that could develop in a marriage if one of the partners had been immoral earlier in life. You strengthen your future marriage by living the law of chastity today. A modern prophet has promised us this. President Benson taught, “When we… keep ourselves morally clean, we will experience the blessings of increased love and peace, greater trust and respect for our marital partners, deeper commitment to each other, and therefore a deep and significant sense of joy and happiness” (President Benson, New Era , Jan. 1988, 5–6). A third reason why it's so important we must obey the law of chastity is because immorality leads to hate, not love. President Benson taught this as well by saying: Do not be misled by Satan's lies…There is no joy to be found in breaking the law of chastity. Just the opposite is true. There may be momentary pleasure. For a time it may seem like everything is wonderful. But quickly the relationship will sour. Guilt and shame set in. We become fearful that our sins will be discovered. We must sneak and hide, lie and cheat. Love begins to die. Bitterness, jealousy, anger, and even hate begin to grow. All of these are the natural results of sin and transgression ( New Era , Jan. 1988, 5–6). As you can see, there are many reasons why it's vital we live the law of chastity. Is kissing okay?The For the Strength of Youth pamphlet clearly states, “Do not
participate in passionate kissing (27). In addition, President
Spencer W. Kimball taught, “What is miscalled the ‘soul
kiss’ is an abomination … even if timely courtship justifies
the kiss it should be a clean, decent, sexless one, like the kiss
between mother and son, or father and daughter” (Teachings
of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 281). Did you notice
he said, “The kiss should be… a
clean, decent, sexless one”?
What’s more, even that
type of kissing is supposed to be reserved for “timely
courtship,” something most teenagers shouldn’t be involved in.
Bruce Monson,
writing for the New Era
posed this question: “Since President Hinckley has asked not to
become s How far can I go with a member of the opposite sex and still be okay? Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught a simple principle to help you know what's okay, and what isn't. He said, “Keep your expressions of feelings to those that are comfortable in the presence of your parents” ( Ensign , Nov. 1994, 38). In other words, when you're on the doorstep with that special someone, don't do anything you wouldn't do if your parents were on the porch with you. For the Strength of Youth says, "Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person's body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body…Do not participate in talk or activities that arouse sexual feelings" (27). It should be pretty plain that physical intimacy of any kind should be kept to a minimum, until you are ready for marriage. Back your eyes up and find a principle from Elder Scott that can help you decide. Is it wrong to steady or to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Many teenagers I've talked to say that this is a gray area, something the prophets haven't clearly spoken on. Actually, it's not—the counsel we have been given is pretty clear. Elder Boyd K. Packer, one of the Apostles wrote, “Steady dating is courtship, and surely the beginning of courtship ought to be delayed until you are almost out of your teens…Don't pair off. Avoid steady dating” (Memorable Stories and Parables , 56). President Benson (the 13 th prophet) said to the Young Women: Avoid steady dating with a young man prior to the time of his mission call. If your relationship with him is more casual, then he can make that decision to serve more easily and also can concentrate his full energies on his missionary work instead of the girlfriend back home” ( Ensign , Nov. 1986, 82–83, emphasis added). Also, President Hinckley said in the Priesthood Session of Conference, “When you are young, do not get involved in steady dating . When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. But you boys who are in high school don't need this, and neither do the girls” ( Ensign , Nov. 1997, 51, emphasis added). You might also be interested to know that a recent study showed that over 88% of LDS teenagers who steady dated had violated either the spirit or the letter of the law of chastity (see Bruce Monson, New Era , June 2001, 36). Eighty eight percent! Those aren't good odds for the steady daters. It looks like a clear “ NO ” on steady dating. Can I go steady if I have permission from my parents? Let me just put it to you this way … lets say your parents say it's okay to kill someone. Does that make it right? Of course not! We should follow what the prophet says, even if others say it's okay not to. Why do I have to wait until I'm 16 to date? I didn't make the rule, so I don't know for sure—but here are a couple of ideas. Idea number one: You mature a lot between the ages of fifteen and sixteen. Generally speaking, a sixteen year old is better equipped than a fifteen year old to handle the temptation and pressure that accompany dating. Idea number two: Studies have shown that teenagers who begin dating early are much more likely to be immoral than the teens who wait to date. For example the same study quoted above showed that 70% of teenagers who waited to date until they were 16 avoided immoral activity, while 80% of those who reported dating before they were 16 had become sexually involved enough to need the counsel of their Bishop (see Bruce Monson, New Era , 6/01, 36). President Hinckley offered his wisdom on the matter by saying, The Lord has made us attractive one to another for a great purpose. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand. It is for this reason that the Church counsels against early dating . This rule is not designed to hurt you in any way. It is designed to help you, and it will do so if you will observe it ( Ensign , January 2001, 8, emphasis added). How serious is it if you break the law of chastity? The scriptures teach us that it is very serious. In fact, when the prophet Alma listed the most serious sin, he said that immorality was the third most serious sin, next only to murder and denying the Holy Ghost (see Alma 39:5). Nothing is a precious as chastity. Near the end of the Book of Mormon, both the Lamanites and the Nephites became wicked. In their final battles, both sides did horrible things to their prisoners of war. The Lamanites for example killed the men, and then made the women and children eat the flesh of their husbands and fathers. But Mormon tells us that the Nephites did even worse things. Moroni 9:9 tells us that the Nephites deprived the Lamanite daughters of “that which was most dear a precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue.” Truly your moral cleanliness, is the greatest possession you have. Because of this, giving your chastity away or taking somebody else's are very serious sins. If someone is sexually abused or raped, have they broken the law of chastity? The For the Strength of Youth pamphlet says: Victims of rape, incest, or other sexual abuse are not guilty of sin. If you have been a victim of any of these crimes, know that you are innocent and that God loves you. Seek your bishop's counsel immediately so he can help guide you through the process of emotional healing (28). Can you be forgiven for breaking the law of chastity? Yes,
but it is very
difficult. Repenting
of a sin this serious
would certainly
require confession
to someone with
the proper Priesthood
authority (like
the Bishop). If
you have broken
the law of chastity
please talk to
your Bishop right
away. Please. He
can guide you through
the repentance
process. |
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